What does allbirds make?
And what the heck is Tree Dashers?
Well, allbirds is a company that manufactures products that men and women need for the workout, jogging, and overall fitness, etc.
They make shoes, underwear, socks, and accessories like lace kits, sleeping masks, and insoles, etc.
What makes them interesting is the unique market they attract with their unique products.
They make all these items from natural materials such as merino wool, eucalyptus, and sugarcane, etc.
Their target audience is people who love planet Earth (maybe not Elon Musk, huh?) and who want to help reduce carbon footprint and all that Greta Thunberg stuff.
allbirds’ Tree Dashers: A Product Page Teardown and Body Copy Fix
This is the fourth web copy teardown in this series, in case you wanna watch/read the others, take a look at this list:
- FindThatLead: Home Page Teardown and Headline Fix
- Tensor Social: Home Page Teardown and CTA Fix
Also, on my YouTube channel, I’ve got all these teardowns and many other videos. Take a look, like, share, comment and sub if you really like these teardowns.
And as I’ve been saying – since the detailed video teardown is here, there won’t be any photos and it’d be a brief text version of the video teardown.
What’s in this Teardown?
So, I’ve been tearing down home/other pages and fixing either the headlines or the CTA text.
For this one, I have a body copy fix to share with you.
Actually a little part of it …
This page missed/misplaced a proper Unique Value Proposition (UVP); I fixed that with a crosshead on top of body copy.
Disclaimer: I’m not here to prove or disprove anything. I actually picked a product page that was neither among the best ones nor the worst ones. It is just a part of the learning process. I totally don’t know who they hired to do this job or (VVV importantly) what is the logic behind their copy decisions. It’s just another meek attempt at learning all things related to copy.
This Shoe Has Got a Tongue – But it Doesn’t Say Much (Headline and Beginning of the Body Copy)
So, this part is going to be comparatively longer because it is about the fatal flaws in this product page’s copy.
The headline …
and the first section of the body copy.
There is not one fault in this headline – there are quite a few.
First of all, as per CXL’s home/other page headline formulas , they picked sort of the weakest of all headline formulas.
#1 – Say what it is.
#2 – Say what you get.
#3 – Say what you’re able to do with it.
As my per my understanding and personal choice, 3 is the best because it explains the hidden benefit/value of a product …
2 is the second best because it is a basic-benefit-based approach …
and 1 is (to me) the least acceptable formula.
However, big companies like Rocket Mortgage used the same formula.
So who am I to suggest otherwise?
Well, all of you are gonna jump from your cozy seats … because Eyugene Schwartz had already decided which formula you should pick between 1 and 2/3.
He said that when your product has the same or similar alternatives available in the market, your headline must emphasize your UVP.
1 formula could still be customized to have this element, but 2 and 3 already start with the benefit so it’s easy to turn them into the kind of headline the Gene recommends.
They didn’t even follow the first formula in its true spirit … their headline takes off like a Boeing 747 and then nosedives like an old and rusty DC-3.
The first word is “Men’s” … and it is very good because right from the beginning they let the reader know that the product is for men. Awesome!
And then they add a phrase to the first word – Tree Dashers. No one visiting their store for the first time would understand what the heck is a “Tree Dashers”.
Is this a vastly unknown product category such as a spoon saver? If it is then for the majority of the audience, the vendor must have added a few words to the headline to explain the category.
Such as “Tree Dashers: Men’s Running Shoes”!
Unfortunately, it’s not even that.
It’s a brand name – the running shoes that allbirds make with organic materials such as merino wool and sugar cane etc.
Other than the CTA, this part is a disaster.
Then comes the body copy … and the first section there (headline and text + image) is actually a killer, but the placement of this section is not right.
This section deals with a major fear in the audience’s mind – and you do not start your product page’s body copy or any page’s any copy with addressing a fear until your audience knows what it is, what it does, and what makes it better than other similar products.
That Toe Does the Job (CTA)
The CTA was done amazingly well.
First of all with that “Limited Edition” thing they used scarcity to compel the visitors to buy their favorite color then and there.
Secondly, they addressed major fears and concerns in a target customer’s mind.
Thirdly, there is amazing theatrics in the CTA section that ensure that the button does not change to CTA unless you pick the right size for your feet.
Fourthly, the CTA (what they want you to do is clear and unambiguous).
Fifthly and lastly, they sorta give you a benefit-based recap of what you’d get. Superb job!
And You Love the Cushioning on this Thing (Body Copy)
There were many things that I loved about the body copy – here’s a breakdown of all the amazing elements that I noticed:
- Image and text placement to cause a much-needed pattern interrupt
- Addressing the basic fears and concerns
- Full of technical features and trademarked names that create authority
- Supporting claims with technical details
- Headlines based on simple to understand benefits (coz buyers don’t wanna know what makes Zoom Air different from Boost)
- Linking benefits with technical details so the reluctant and more skeptical ones may know “how come” detail
- Emphasis on how their systems and the whole thing (the trail runner) are unique and novel
- A bonus on the main offer
- A sneak peek of how they measure CO2e and help reduce the carbon footprint
And How a Little Tag on the Top Change Things for Good
This is about how I improved/fixed body copy with a simple and effective UVP-infused crosshead ( headlines that run across body copy):
Firstly, I scrolled down to the end of the page to read the reviews and steal some words that their customers used to explain these shoes.
Secondly, I Googled “Tree Dashers”, noticed the kinda language they used to explain their product, and stole that language too.
Thirdly, I wrote a rough UVP that emphasized how people can help reduce carbon footprint by wearing these shoes and that too without compromising on quality and comfort, etc.
Fourthly and lastly, I turned that into a UVP-based crosshead:
“Finally: A Pair of Men’s Running Sneakers that are Made with Organic Items. Help Us Reduce the Carbon Footprint without Making any Compromises on comfort and functionality.”
This is it fellas.
I hope you liked the teardown.
In case you have any questions, suggestions, or feedback, share them in the comment box below.
I’d soon be back with another teardown …
Till then …